I Was Afraid
by msgrits
Summary: Cath shows up atSara's to apologize and gets a suprise...Gil had taken care of all of us for so long. He didn’t have a life. We were his life. GRS and a bit fluffy. COMPLETE


Title: I Was Afriad 

**Author: Msgrits**

**Disclaimer: I don't own CSI or anything related to CSI. The writers have invited me to guest star on many occasions. I am just too busy so I had to turn them down. **

**Pairings: G/S and a small tiny hint of W/C**

**Ratings: PG or PG-13 I never know **

**Spoilers: Nesting Dolls**

**Thanks to Ash and Xanti for betaing. **

**A/N I hardly ever write a response to a show this fast. It usually brews in my head ends up as part of a longer fic. The Catherine thing really set me on edge. Her behavior is erratic. When people behave badly, are mean or callous there is usually a reason. This is my reason.**

Sara looked through her peephole for the third time in twenty-four hours. Catherine. She pulled the door open like she had for her other guest.

"I'm sorry," both women said, smiling at each other when they realized that they had spoken the same words.

Sara stepped back and directed Catherine to sit. The blond woman looked around at the cozy room. She had always thought that Sara's space would be stark and rigid. The purple walls and startling prints surprised her.

"You want something to drink?"

"Water."

"Filtered okay?"

"Perfect."

Sara went to her kitchen and retrieved a tall glass, which she filled with cold water from a pitcher. She brought the glass back to Catherine.

"Thank you."

The two women regarded one another for several seconds. They hadn't been very close and maybe they never would be. They did, however, have a grudging respect for one another and a solidarity of sorts because they both cared a great deal for Gil.

"I was out of line," Sara said.

"Maybe, but I should have pulled you to the side. It's not like you haven't seen me lose it with a suspect and you weren't nearly as bad as I was with that woman who left Lindsey in the back seat. I am sorry you got suspended."

Sara lifted her thin shoulders. "It's okay. Let's call it a mini vacation. I needed some time."

"You okay? With money I mean. Warrick, Nicky and Greg wanted me to ask."

Sara smiled at thought of her guys. "I'm good. Tell them I said thank you."

"You tell them. They won't last another day without calling," Catherine replied.

Both women lapsed into a moment of uncomfortable silence.

Eventually Catherine spoke. "Look, I don't know if this is my business," she said cautiously. "Actually, it's definitely not my business." She hesitated, mentally phrasing what she wanted to say. "I was, or rather I am, afraid of loosing Gil."

Sara sipped her own glass of water and watched the other woman fidget.

"Gil is the only man that never wanted anything from me but my friendship. He didn't want me to primp for him or laugh at his stupid jokes. Just being myself was enough," Catherine mused. "He was the first man to tell me that I was smart."

Sara remembered a conversation that they had during a case. She had asked Sara if her father ever told her she was smart. Sara hadn't remembered much about what her father or anything he had ever said to her.

"When you arrived I knew that he loved you. I could see it a mile away. We all could. Gil had taken care of all of us for so long. He didn't have a life. We were his life. We meant everything to him and then you came along, and suddenly we weren't everything. It was hard for us, especially me. I thought I was getting over it. Today when he came back to tell Ecklie off, I realized that I hadn't. I was still so scared of loosing my best friend."

"It must be hard to think you might lose one of your closest friends. I would never…"

Cath nodded. "I know, you are as much a part of us now as Gil is."

"How did you meet Grissom?" Sara asked.

Catherine sighed and gave Sara a conspiratorial look. Sara caught the scent of girl talk. "If you tell him this he is going to kill me."

"I can't promise…"

"No promises, just don't volunteer. He was a patron."

Sara eyes were wide and she laughed a little. "Gil goes to strip clubs."

"I don't know about now but he did then. It was the last club I worked. Silver's on Kilmichael."

Sara let out a low whistle. "That place is pricey. We worked a case their last week. Those women are stunning. Go Catherine."

Catherine laughed.

"So how did you guys end up talking? I mean it's still a strip club and wait, Gil wasn't working here yet."

"He would fly in a lot to consult. The lab was shit and they called in Gil to fix things when someone had messed up. Actually he never even looked at me."

"He didn't?"

"Nah. He had a thing for brunettes."

Sara tried to control her blush.

"All the brunettes would put out an alert when he was in the club. He wasn't grabby, he tipped well and never tried to coerce women into how shall I say it…. inappropriate situations. He liked beautiful women and that was that."

"Sounds like Grissom."

"One night I was auguring the MC about my tips and he had shorted me a hundred bucks. I told him everyone that had tipped me. What they were wearing and what they looked like. That's no big deal. It was my descriptions that got Gil."

"Like what?"

"Like the blond guy who was hopped up on cocaine and who just got divorced, or the fat guy who stopped in on his way from a funeral."

"Ah, more than run of the mill observation." Sara said.

"He told me that I was smart and while there was nothing wrong with stripping, I wouldn't be able to do it for the rest of my life. He suggested that I should go back to school," Catherine paused to take a sip of her water. "He gave me his business card and we kept in touch. Whenever he was in town we would go to lunch and eventually he convinced me to go to college. I owe him everything." Catherine ended her story quietly remembering a Gil fifteen years before.

"Sara…" Catherine didn't know if she was pushing the envelope but figured someone had to. "He cares about you a lot. I don't want him to grow old alone. I want him to be happy."

"I…"

Sara was interrupted by a voice from the bedroom.

"Honey, please tell me that you have something beside dessert sunflower soap to shower in? I can't go to work smelling like flowers. I'll never hear the end of it."

Catherine's head whipped around as she heard the familiar voice and the bedroom door opened. Gil starred at the two women. He was wearing only his boxers. He slammed the door.

"What the hell are you doing Catherine!"

"Apologizing to Sara. I guess I don't have to ask what you are doing?" Sara stifled a giggle as her co-worker stood. "I must go now and erase that image from my head."

She looked back at the door. "How long…"

"About twelve hours. Do you think you could keep it quiet for a bit?"

"Can do."

Sara looked at her suspiciously. "Even if Warrick implements special interrogation techniques?"

"Sara if the man so much as brushes up against me and asks me the color of your eyes, I'm telling everything I know."

"Fair enough."

Gil's voice could be heard again. "Don't you have something to do Catherine?"

"I'm leaving Gil." She waved to Sara and was gone.

Gil cracked the door and looked at Sara, her legs folded tightly underneath her. He walked into the small living area. "Are we busted?"

"Busted? No more playing with Warrick for you."

"I didn't get that from Warrick. I got it from Greg." He kissed her sweetly savoring the taste of her sleepy breath. "I am going to work smelling like flowers aren't I?"

"Sorry"

"S'okay. Is Catherine going to tell?"

"As long as Warrick doesn't ask the question I think we are safe."

"What are you going to do today?" Gil said watching her braless chest.

"I don't know. You know, you do that at work too?"

"Do what?"

"Stare at my chest."

"Do not. I usually stare at your ass. So…what are you doing with your time off?"

"I don't know. Do you have any suggestions?"

He stroked her thigh lightly. "Well, I'm not a woman."

"I noticed that a little while ago."

"If I had a new boyfriend."

"I have a new boyfriend?"

He put his lips close to the ear. "Sara Sidle will you be my steady?"

Sara shivered as his tongue darted around her ear. "I think I am being improperly influenced."

Gil kissed a lobe.

"Yes Gil Grissom I will be your steady. Now what would you suggest I do today?"

Gil had her neck with one large hand and pulled it to his lips.

"Well I would go shopping with the Platinum American Express card of this new fella."

"Shopping huh. I am sure you have suggestions as to what one should buy with said card."

"Well there's a boutique that carries LaPerla on Pace Avenue."

Sara giggled as he found the other ear. "How do you know that?"

"Case of course."

"Right."

"Well I would buy let's see six ensembles of your choosing."

"Funny how that corresponds with the number of days I have left on my suspension."

"I hadn't noticed." He smiled against her lips as their lips brushed together.

"What else?"

"Well since you mentioned your suspension. It might be good idea if you bought some groceries, enough for two people for six days. Two people who won't be eating meat but who will need lots of protein. I wouldn't want you to have to spend any money on eating out or anything."

"You think only of me dearest," she mocked.

"I do."

"So let me get this straight. I am going to buy six pieces of lingerie and enough food for six days?"

Gil nodded taking her hand in his.

"Will I be leaving my apartment after this shopping spree?"

"Of course. You will be leaving your apartment to go to my house with your set of keys of course. You won't be leaving my house."

Seriousness touched across his formerly fanciful face. "You and Cath going to be okay?"

"I think so. I know she's your friend. She's trying. I am trying. We'll keep trying."

"I know she's hard to take sometimes."

"We all are Gil. None of us have lead easy lives. That's why we want to help people."

He kissed her forehead. "Everything's going to be okay."

"I know. I am not so afraid anymore."

"Me neither."

"What were you afraid of Gris?"

"Of you. Of loosing you. Of never being brave enough."

This time she kissed his forehead.

"I love you Sara Sidle."

She blinked. She had known that. Had known it for a long time but she had never expected to here it so suddenly and painfully. It had been hard for him to say, no matter that he stilled regained a modicum of control by saying it first. He looked at her expectantly, his blues eyes a little tense but mostly frightened.

"I love you too Gil Grissom."


End file.
